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You can run but you can’t hide

Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

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Barry “The Flash” Allen was spotted outside of a Los Angeles medical center earlier this afternoon. Rumors about his health have continuously plagued the hero, including speculation that regularly defying the laws of physics is causing premature baldness and polluting the environment with an excess of negatively charged ions. Justice Society Headquarters could not be reached for comment.

STFU! invites The Flash to set the record straight.